Maintaining emotional well-being in undergrad

I'm an optimistic person. Sometimes, however, I'm too optimistic. I believe that there is such a thing as being TOO positive that you're hindered from thinking realistically, having a healthy internal emotional balance, and dealing appropriately with certain situations. I'll explain.

This semester during my junior year, a lot of things have happened familially, socially, and academically that overwhelmed me. There is quite a bit going on at home, what with financial setbacks and mental illness among several members in my family. Socially, I've run into a few sticky situations that I never asked to be a part of, and in these same situations I learned a few things about myself. (One important realization is that I too easily and quickly let go of things that others have done to wrong me.) Academically, despite the fact that I’ve lost much sleep striving for a solid GPA, I still feel that I haven't yet reached the level of raging tenacity that's required for my rigorous courseload.

I don't think I've yet found a way to handle these things well. In an earlier entry I wrote that my sister once told me that at Cornell, you can only have two of three things at one time: good grades, sleep, or a social life. One of my friends was recently speaking to a triple major (yes, a TRIPLE major) and he asked him, “How do you DO it?” The guy responded with a straight face, “I don’t sleep.”

I know that my one major, double minor, and pre-medical courseload probably isn't as demanding as the student with three majors, but it’s demanding nonetheless, and the struggle to find a balance between adequate sleep, a social life, and good grades isn’t even as big of a struggle when compared to the struggle itself for good grades. At least that's how it feels.

Here's another balance all undergraduates need to maintain. I think this may be the most important. When I'm stressed out and burdened, I make use of my many outlets: prayer, family, friends, my journal, and even this blog. This helps preserve my emotional well-being. Another important component of fostering positive mental health as a student is maintaining healthy relationships and interactions with others. One thing that I've come to realize about myself this year is that, although, for the most part, I get along well with everyone I cross paths with, I am so insistent about avoiding conflicts (because that’s what I believe emotionally healthy and mature people do) that I’ve forgotten about my own feelings and sense of well-being. If someone steps on my toe, I don’t even notice, but if someone crushes my foot, I act like it’s no big deal and fail to properly address it.

It probably won’t surprise you when I say that, because of this personality trait of mine, people have taken advantage of me. The challenge of addressing this lies in becoming a more forward and assertive individual.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this semester is that things are going to happen throughout our lives that disappoint and hurt us tremendously, but it will do us no good to pout and marinate on the bad. I’ve experienced many difficulties with my family, academically and in a couple of relationships/friendships, and I have made the mistake of dwelling too much on what’s saddened me that it resulted in horrible effects on my emotional stability. We have to remember that everything happens for a reason (and not for you to feel terrible or beat yourself up, or anyone else for that matter). Let's learn and grow from our negative experiences. Embrace them, and welcome these opportunities to become a stronger individual. Tough times never last, but tough people do.